November 13, 2023
5:48 PM
4440 grams
55 cm
Berlin, Germany
We found out that I would be induced on November 13. I was so excited and grateful. I had told Dana our goal was a vaginal birth, even with Logan's size. Logan was getting bigger and bigger and it was time for him to come! Later, from different members of our ward, and Dana, we realized that inductions are a little different in Germany.
I would be receiving a dosage of medication that would hopefully induce labor. The dosage would be given every four hours until labor started – even if it took days. Most people who shared their experiences with me said it had taken days to go into labor. I really hoped and prayed that wouldn’t be the case for me.
We woke up early, having to be at the hospital at 9 AM. Packed the rest of our hospital bags, snacks, and couldn’t believe the next time we came back to our apartment, we would have our sweet baby with us.
During check-in, I saw Dana in her pink midwife scrubs for the first time. I love her!! She’s like the elementary school teacher that you get so, so excited to see each time.
We met Dana our SECOND day in Germany. On the plane ride over, I had sent her an email hoping that we would be able to get an appointment with her as soon as possible. Two days later, we were in her office. She has been the biggest comfort through this whole process and I can’t imagine doing what we did without her.
Justin and I were admitted to a small room. A doctor came in and explained the whole medication and induction process. I took dosage and we waited. The monitor showed lots of contractions but I couldn’t feel anything.
After 45 minutes, Dana came back and miraculously, I was already dilated to a 2-3. I told her I hadn’t felt any of the contractions. Because of where I was with dilation and how I had reacted to the medication, she wanted to break my water and said we would have our baby by the evening. I was in shock. SO grateful that we didn’t have to wait for this medication to start labor. Dana said she selfishly thought to herself she didn’t want to break the water because she had just had two births the night before. She was running on little/no sleep but was still willing to break my water and get Logan here. Miracle.
Friends told me to bring lots of snacks because the hospital only served bread and cheese. They were right! Partly. Lunches were usually something more haha.
As soon as I finished my breakfast we brought our things to our delivery room. Dana broke my water and I got my German epidural. I was told the hospital makes "super epidurals". All I knew was that U.S. epidurals are made so you feel NOTHING. I'm excited to have one of those one day.
About 30 minutes later I was already dilated to a 10, which was good, except, Logan was still so high in the birth canal and his head was slightly turned.
I began what was the longest two and a half hours of my life. I had to turn on my left side and push until Logan came down and turned his head. The epidural stopped working and it was the hardest thing I've experienced.
Justin talked me through every single contraction and gave me a blessing after I threw up from the pain. I couldn't have done it without him either. Logan's head turned and he moved down. Very slowly.
I was so tired I began falling asleep in between contractions. I didn’t know how much longer I could keep it up. After 2 hours and 20 minutes, Dana told me to go back on my back and push through the contractions.
Dana left and came back with the doctor. She said it was time and I didn’t know what to think. I was about to meet my baby after dreaming about him for months and praying for him for even longer.
When Logan was in the birth canal it finally wasn’t painful anymore. He had been bone on bone and now I finally felt relief. A few minutes later we had our baby boy.
Dana weighed and measured Logan. 55 cm and 4440g! I didn't know that in pounds and ounces but we were hoping he wouldn't be over 4000g so we could have the vaginal birth. Justin asked Google to do the conversion and we were in awe that our baby was almost 10 lbs.
Dana asked the name and we told her Logan. We had decided on the name Logan more than one month earlier. That's where Justin and I met. The place that we love the most. Maybe we'll get to live there one day.
Kimball is for Justin’s late uncle. He was close to Justin and everyone tells Justin that they resemble one another in photos. Kimball was known for being “without guile”. He was known for many other attributes and qualities that we hope Logan will develop.
After being with Logan for a few minutes Dana asked Justin to take Logan and leave the room with a nurse. Over the next hour, I underwent an operation from complications and lost over one liter of blood. I don't remember much except for Dana's voice asking me how I was doing over and over again. I remember smiling and saying, "I'm okay." because we had our baby boy.
Thankfully the surgery went well and I didn't require a transfusion. We had to say bye to Justin for the night as they didn't have any family rooms available. That was hard and unexpected. He was back early the next morning and we got checked into our family room.
Being with Logan was and is HEAVEN. He is such a good, happy baby. I'm so grateful he's ours.
Photo with Dana before heading home.
Going home!
The BYU Vocal Point arrangement Gratitude came out around the time Logan was born. We listened to it the first time together as a family of three in our apartment. <3 I'll never forget those special feelings as we watched the music video over and over again, tears streaming down our faces.
The next week, Mom came to Germany! She had changed her flight and was able to come one week earlier than planned. After she changed her flight, we realized Justin was going to be on the road four nights in a row. It was a tender mercy that she had felt the need to change her flight and come and be with us earlier.
I can’t explain the feelings of gratitude, love, and joy as I opened our apartment door and saw my mom. I hadn’t seen her since July and when we said goodbye we knew sooo much was going to happen before our next reunion.
We cried and hugged in the doorway. I never wanted to let go. I couldn’t believe she was in OUR apartment in GERMANY. I’m so grateful she could come. <3
That night, after putting Logan to bed, I started to bleed. Much more than was normal. Panicked, I called my home midwife, Miriam and she told us to get to the hospital. My hospital is 25 minutes away by car. It was 10 PM, Justin was gone, I couldn't drive, Mom couldn't drive, and I didn't want to have to get Logan packed up and bring him out. He was only a few days old.
All I could think was call Angie, our Relief Society President. Since we moved to Berlin, Angie had reached out multiple times a week checking in on me and telling me I could reach out if I needed anything. Angie had just brought Mom from the airport the day before and brought us dinner as well.
I called her in tears explaining the situation. Fifteen minutes later, Angie and Scott were at our apartment. I said bye to Logan and my mom and headed to the hospital. Angie stayed with me that night and into the morning until everything was under control. Scott gave me a blessing at the hospital. Those two really were my angels that night.
Poor Justin, got all of the notifications on what was happening as he landed in Spain. He had only left us four hours earlier. After driving to his team hotel, he booked an Uber and the first flight that left Madrid in the morning.
The doctor ruled out another surgery saying it would be too risky. I was given medication that helped resolve the bleeding one week later.
During those three and a half weeks I relied heavily on my family, ward members, Justin, Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ.
That experience was scary, inconvenient, and I don't know why it had to happen. But I learned a lot of things that refined me. Heavenly Father has a way of giving me learning lessons through medical matters.
In a blessing Justin gave me in January he said: Heavenly Father will not take these trials away from you because of what you've learned from them. But He will continue to lift you. I know that's true, especially in the last months.
By the time Mom and Dad left Germany, my bleeding was normal. I’m five weeks postpartum right now. I still get lightheaded but I know I’m getting my strength back. This whole story has been nothing like I would’ve imagined.
When we were sitting at the dinner table one night, Dad reminded us in the summer we had made a verbal commitment to Paris. We were very set on playing basketball there and it was almost 100% set in stone. Then a few hours before our contract became final, Berlin called and we made a split decision to move to Berlin rather than Paris. Dad said, “I believe one of the reasons you came to Berlin is because of your ward. The support you have from this ward is incredible. You may not have had that in Paris.”
He’s right. Our ward is perfect. We are a diverse group with unconditional love and compassion. I know that one of the reasons our family is here right now is for our ward. <3
So that’s baby Logan’s and our little family’s story of getting him here. I’m so grateful that he’s safe, he’s healthy, and I know we’ve been taken care of.
